My online odds and ends drawer.

Heres me with the lovely men who are kind enough to let me sing for them playing one of our songs. Note how I have no clue what to do with my hands.

Some wonderful things my friend said while drunk last night

I’m entering this post because as a photo of Brendan Fraser beconing me while wearing nothing but gold paint has proven, once it’s on the internet it exists forever. 

image

I feel I owe it to a friend to immortilise the wonderous state that came over him once he had demolished a shoulder of gin. He seldom drinks, and was an absolute sweatheart to be around, even pissed. Here are some of the wonderful things he did and said, in no particular order;

  • When I offered him a taste of my morgans and 7up he responded “I feel like Julius Ceaser”
  • When I put a scarf on him he insisted I kiss him on the forehead. This done, he yelled “NOW IT’S REAL”
  • After overhearing me tell someone the above a half hour later, he laughed hysterically and asked what on earth he could have possibly meant by that.
  • When about 5 guys started humping another guy as a kind of punishment, he very seriously asked me to hold his drink and proceeded to erotically dance against the victims left knee.
  • When I walked him to the bathroom, he asked me if I would like to “cross streams”
  • After explaining that I could not even if I wanted to, a male friend obliged him and did indeed “cross streams”. While doing so, my friend yelled “PICCIES!” and took a photo.
  • He showed me a photo of him holding “a fucking awesome cat” that he had seen outside my house, (belonging to my neighbour) about three times.
  • He told me with absolute sincerity that if I were to join his gym and train with him it would be all of his dreams come true.
  • When I told him that I felt I was too unfit and pudgy (not actually a complaint, I’m rather fond of my squish) to be able to keep up with him (his gym is one of those crossfit places) he assured me that I was definitly fit enough and not at all pudgy, but if I wanted to be pudgy he supported my decision. He also asserted that joining his gym would help in my quest for pudge. Somehow. Once again, this was said with absolute sincerity.
  • While giving out to someone for hitting me in the ass with a beachball, he gesticulate wildly and punched me in the boob.

There was more, but alas my darling posterity, my friend was not the only soul with a drink in their hand and a song in their heart that night. The rest of that night is lost in the treacherous fogs of party, soon to be swept away by the winds of time. However, all is not lost as my tiny corner of the internet shall forever remember all that could be remembered…. Which was mostly me laughing hysterically at someone punching my left boob.

YES.

YES.

My eyes decided to be an alarming shade of whatever the hell this colour is.

My eyes decided to be an alarming shade of whatever the hell this colour is.

xsugartownx:

"Dear brothers and sisters, do remember one thing: Malala Day is not my day. Today is the day of every woman, every boy and every girl who have raised their voice for their rights.

Dear Friends, on the 9th of October 2012, the Taliban shot me on the left side of my forehead. They shot my friends too. They thought that the bullets would silence us. But they failed. The terrorists thought that they would change our aims and stop our ambitions, but nothing changed in my life except this: weakness, fear and hopelessness died. Strength, power and courage was born.  I am the same Malala. My ambitions are the same. My hopes are the same. My dreams are the same.

The wise saying ‘the pen is mightier than sword’ was true. The extremists are afraid of books and pens. The power of education frightens them. They are afraid of women. The power of the voice of women frightens them. Through hate-filled actions, extremists have shown what frightens them the most: a girl with a book.

Peace is necessary for education. In many parts of the world, terrorism, wars and conflicts stop children to go to their schools. We are really tired of these wars. There was a time when women social activists asked men to stand up for their rights. But, this time, we will do it by ourselves. I am not telling men to step away from speaking for women’s rights. Rather, I am focusing on women to be independent to fight for themselves. 

Today we call upon all communities to be tolerant – to reject prejudice based on caste, creed, sect, religion or gender. We cannot all succeed when half of us are held back.

We call upon our sisters around the world to be brave – to embrace the strength within themselves and realise their full potential. 

Let us pick up our books and pens. They are our most powerful weapons. 

We must not forget that our sisters and brothers are waiting for a bright peaceful future.”

So, today I sorted out my taxes and then released an EP. In terms of boredom and excitement, its been a real mixed bag. So here, have my EP. It’s about sixteen minutes long and free as the day is long, and right now it’s summer, so thats pretty free. I hope you like it and that it in someway makes you smile. There will be more to follow.

laurashmlaura:

This video, created by One Productions with the US Embassy, is to commemorate JFK’s visit to Ireland 50 years ago.

It is as relevant today and it was then.

So I’m in a band. Sort of. Mostly we’re just people who get together and have fun times and write music in between. We accidentally wrote an EP this way, and this is the first track off it. I drew the cover, because I was told to and in retrospect, I guess that makes me a hipster. We’re called Here to Help You Out, and if you’re lacking a song less then 3 minutes long with some dreamy guitars, then …well I guess we’re here to help you out.

I do so love my little chats with Andy
Me: Imma fuck you in the fuckass, you assfuck... with my ass.
I SHOULD WRITE A FUCKING BOOK ALREADY
Andy: You'll have no fuckass complaints from my ass fucking ass that's for ass cracking sure!
Me: Thats the sweetest thing anyones ever said to me.

Jesus. That is not the way to find out you get travel sickness.